I am really excited about this one. It is the best one I've read so far (that could be because there are three times as many writers as there were in previous guest post), and I'm honored to be able to share it with you here.
But first, let me introduce you to these three beautiful sisters, Rhen, Catlia, and Elisera!
I have the pleasure of calling these girls friends. From the time I've known them they have shown godly character and Christ-like love. These three ladies show case their love of Jesus, their Saviour, and it is evident they strive to glorify Him in every aspect of their lives. My life has been blessed by these three maidens, and I enjoy reading their blog. Their blog Maiden's of Virtue, is one of biblical insight and encouraging posts. Catlia, Elisera, and Rhen have always done an exceptional job in their writing and this is, well, no exception!
Without further ado, their guest post:
Special thanks to Lady Ashlin for asking us to pose as guests on her blog! It was a great joy to research and study the Scriptures for this post. We hope at least one maiden will be encouraged by our answers. Blessings to the readers!
Why do you believe it is important to remain pure emotionally and physically?
pure adj. 1. free from anything that adulterates, taints, etc.; unmixed 4. faultless
5. blameless 6. virgin or chaste (Websters New World Dictionary 1984)
5. blameless 6. virgin or chaste (Websters New World Dictionary 1984)
As Christians, we have been reconciled by Christ through His physical body so that we may be presented as "holy, faultless, and blameless before Him..." (Col. 1:22) Purity isn't just about remaining pure sexually, it is keeping oneself clean in mind (emotionally), body (physically), and spirit (spiritually). It is honorable to God. Any girl can get a purity ring, but it is just a ring if you don't obey God's commands as a single woman.
In regard to emotional purity, we believe that from birth our spirits, or souls for that matter, are impure and tainted with sin, which is the result of the Curse. Salvation, through Christ and His sacrifice on the cross, cleanses us of this sin and ultimately makes us pure and blameless. A godly maiden doesn't commit herself to romantic readings and chick flicks, or flirt with men, or dream of false fantasies. She concerns herself with the things of God and thus does not desire for the here and now, but patiently waits for God's will. The Bible says in Matthew 5:28, "But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Ladies, this includes us as well, insert "man" instead of woman. Just think, we are held accountable even for our thoughts! whether we say them or not. Our righteous Judge deems it a sin to even think in this way. Strive for emotional purity.
Physical purity: It is of the utmost importance for us, as maidens, to remain pure until our honeymoon, because, we want our man to see us on our wedding day in a beautiful white dress (the color of purity) untainted with the stains of secrets, lies, or regrets. We want him to see us as his prize, his treasure.
Because of this, we have resolved never to kiss a man (with the exception of our father or grandfathers, of course) until our wedding day.
In a devotional about the Significance of Physical Purity, Leslie Ludy of setapartgirl.com states, "To keep sex sacred, we must keep ALL expressions of sexual intimacy sacred." She goes on to quote her father when he told her and her husband, Eric Ludy, that, "Anything physically that you save for marriage will only be more beautiful and fulfilling as time goes on. Anything that you experience beforehand will eventually lose its luster."
Wow. What more can be said? After hearing the testimonies of many different women, we know this to be true.
You can read the whole post regarding physical purity here: http://www.setapartgirl.com/Devotional/Entries/2011/1/11_the_significance_of_physical_purity.html
What does remaining emotionally pure mean to you?
It means not filling our heads with false ideas of marriage and men, but instead focusing on God's calling of us as maidens, daughters of the King. We, as women, are created to be different than men. God made us much more emotional than our male counterparts so that we may complement and complete their more physical natures. But, because of the Fall, our emotions tend to be easily excited and need controlled so we do not awaken the feelings that are to be reserved for the one man God desires us to bless.
To be emotionally pure, one must dig wholly into Scripture. Set your eye on things above.
In regard to emotional purity, we believe that from birth our spirits, or souls for that matter, are impure and tainted with sin, which is the result of the Curse. Salvation, through Christ and His sacrifice on the cross, cleanses us of this sin and ultimately makes us pure and blameless. A godly maiden doesn't commit herself to romantic readings and chick flicks, or flirt with men, or dream of false fantasies. She concerns herself with the things of God and thus does not desire for the here and now, but patiently waits for God's will. The Bible says in Matthew 5:28, "But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Ladies, this includes us as well, insert "man" instead of woman. Just think, we are held accountable even for our thoughts! whether we say them or not. Our righteous Judge deems it a sin to even think in this way. Strive for emotional purity.
Physical purity: It is of the utmost importance for us, as maidens, to remain pure until our honeymoon, because, we want our man to see us on our wedding day in a beautiful white dress (the color of purity) untainted with the stains of secrets, lies, or regrets. We want him to see us as his prize, his treasure.
Because of this, we have resolved never to kiss a man (with the exception of our father or grandfathers, of course) until our wedding day.
In a devotional about the Significance of Physical Purity, Leslie Ludy of setapartgirl.com states, "To keep sex sacred, we must keep ALL expressions of sexual intimacy sacred." She goes on to quote her father when he told her and her husband, Eric Ludy, that, "Anything physically that you save for marriage will only be more beautiful and fulfilling as time goes on. Anything that you experience beforehand will eventually lose its luster."
Wow. What more can be said? After hearing the testimonies of many different women, we know this to be true.
You can read the whole post regarding physical purity here: http://www.setapartgirl.com/Devotional/Entries/2011/1/11_the_significance_of_physical_purity.html
What does remaining emotionally pure mean to you?
It means not filling our heads with false ideas of marriage and men, but instead focusing on God's calling of us as maidens, daughters of the King. We, as women, are created to be different than men. God made us much more emotional than our male counterparts so that we may complement and complete their more physical natures. But, because of the Fall, our emotions tend to be easily excited and need controlled so we do not awaken the feelings that are to be reserved for the one man God desires us to bless.
To be emotionally pure, one must dig wholly into Scripture. Set your eye on things above.
What are some specific things you do to guard your heart and not awaken love before its time?
First, pray. Seek the King's face. Learn to be content. Our single years can be the best years of our lives. For instance, we, as single maidens, are not yet committed to a husband, family, or home of our own and can therefore be active in various church ministries, babysitting (as practice for the future), starting a full-time home business, or helping to fulfill our father's vision, which could be by doing all of the above-mentioned activities. A godly father would want to see his daughter involved in such ministries where she can be helpful and productive. An unmarried girl is under the authority of her father just as a wife is under the authority of her husband (Numbers 30:16), which means our duties in our single years are first to our fathers until marriage, where they then switch to our husbands.
Second, avoid idleness. Remember the Proverbs 31 Woman? "She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness." (Prov. 31:27, NASB) Now, I know this is referring to a wife, but that goes for you single maidens, as well. Keep yourself busy!
Third, don't turn to dating. A quote I once heard says, "If you're not looking for a mate, don't date!" Sadly, and most often, dating leads pure maidens down a road of regret. It is, in a way, "a practice for divorce."
In their book, So Much More, the Botkin sisters suggest when in the presence of young men, we should "act as though our husbands might be in the room watching us. We should pray that no young men ever rob us of feelings we are saving for our husbands, and in the same way, we must not defraud other young men of what belongs to their wives, because God has chosen wives for them, too. It is almost as though they are already married, and this fact should affect the way we treat them, so that they will think of us 'as sisters, with all purity' (1 Timothy 5:2)." (So Much More, by Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin; Chap. 15, pgs 226-227, http://www.visionarydaughters.com/)
Ok, so you may ask, "Well, if dating isn't right Biblically, then how am I supposed to find my man?"
Listen, you are not to go out and search for your future husband around every corner, in every doorway, or under rocks. God has a plan for you (Jer. 29:11)! Give Him control!
As to the alternative to dating, what about courtship? (More on this in the following answer.)
First, pray. Seek the King's face. Learn to be content. Our single years can be the best years of our lives. For instance, we, as single maidens, are not yet committed to a husband, family, or home of our own and can therefore be active in various church ministries, babysitting (as practice for the future), starting a full-time home business, or helping to fulfill our father's vision, which could be by doing all of the above-mentioned activities. A godly father would want to see his daughter involved in such ministries where she can be helpful and productive. An unmarried girl is under the authority of her father just as a wife is under the authority of her husband (Numbers 30:16), which means our duties in our single years are first to our fathers until marriage, where they then switch to our husbands.
Second, avoid idleness. Remember the Proverbs 31 Woman? "She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness." (Prov. 31:27, NASB) Now, I know this is referring to a wife, but that goes for you single maidens, as well. Keep yourself busy!
Third, don't turn to dating. A quote I once heard says, "If you're not looking for a mate, don't date!" Sadly, and most often, dating leads pure maidens down a road of regret. It is, in a way, "a practice for divorce."
In their book, So Much More, the Botkin sisters suggest when in the presence of young men, we should "act as though our husbands might be in the room watching us. We should pray that no young men ever rob us of feelings we are saving for our husbands, and in the same way, we must not defraud other young men of what belongs to their wives, because God has chosen wives for them, too. It is almost as though they are already married, and this fact should affect the way we treat them, so that they will think of us 'as sisters, with all purity' (1 Timothy 5:2)." (So Much More, by Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin; Chap. 15, pgs 226-227, http://www.visionarydaughters.com/)
Ok, so you may ask, "Well, if dating isn't right Biblically, then how am I supposed to find my man?"
Listen, you are not to go out and search for your future husband around every corner, in every doorway, or under rocks. God has a plan for you (Jer. 29:11)! Give Him control!
As to the alternative to dating, what about courtship? (More on this in the following answer.)
If you could give the girls reading this one piece of advice or encouragement, what would it be?
Elisera: Avoid romance novels, films, TV shows, Soap Operas, etc. Yes, ladies, that definitely includes the Twilight Saga books and movies, among others. The whole genre of Romance is what gives us the fairytale thoughts of Happily Ever After. I, myself, have read some great Christian Romance novels, but even the Christian label can make you daydream of the perfect Prince Charming, a perfect house, a perfect family, a perfect marriage. Your man will not be perfect, he is just as flawed as you. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23)
Marriage is a blessing, not a curse. It is a sacred covenant and one that should be kept for the rest of your life. But don't go into marriage thinking it will be fun and games. Once married, there will be house payments, electric bills, crying babies, late nights, long days with no sleep and so on. Know that I do not write from experience, but from what I have observed, read, and heard from my surroundings. I don't mean to depress you, but it is reality.
My advice? Look into courtship. Courting is a good way to get to know a potential suitor without the emotional drama. The Botkin sisters sum it up quite well:
"In a nutshell, the concept behind courtship is that marriage is important and permanent, and that making a good match requires discernment. Finding a mate should therefore be about purpose and not infatuation. Courtship is about working in submission to God to make a permanent marriage between two people God has prepared for each other for a special mission. Courtship means having a righteous standard and honorable intentions in every relationship, and not pursuing any romantic relationship with any person until, in God's good time, the bride and groom are both spiritually and practically ready for marriage and ready to covenant together.
"Courtship means understanding that romantic attraction can be disorienting, and that serious couples need objectivity and third-party counsel to make such an important decision as marriage. Thus, courtship means leaning on the guidance of your father and mother and heavenly Father to help you evaluate the suitors who take an interest in you." (So Much More; Chap. 16, pgs 232-233)
I agree wholeheartedly with this definition. We, as sisters, plan to pursue courtship when the time comes.
Rhen: Read It's (Not That) Complicated. But always go to the Bible first and be open with your parents, which is hard to do when you are a private person (I'm still working on that). It's truly difficult for many to open up to family. Know that they won't judge you. They want to help and be there for you, so let them.
Catlia: The one bit of advice I would like to give to my fellow sisters in Christ is simple, but it is, more often than not, easier said than done: Treasure God's word in your heart.
This is not a new concept to most of us born again Christians. However, many of us, myself included, fail to take the time to memorize and truly dwell on Scripture.
Psalm 119:11 says, "Thy word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against Thee." In Psalm 37:31, we find this being said of the one who trusts in the Lord: "The law of his God is in his heart; his steps do not slip."
The definition of "treasure" in this sense is "to save up for future use, to value greatly." I believe I may confidently say there is no born again Christian who is content to continue in sin against God. When we have been made new, saved by God's grace, sin is hateful to us. It makes us ill and we despise it. We hate it when we sin against God, and we hate it when others do as well. Here, we find that "saving up" God's word "for future use" helps us to keep from sinning against God.
If you are like me, and "suffer" from an over-active imagination, perhaps you should dwell on the verses in Philippians chapter four: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
For every trial, trouble, and temptation, God has provided us with Scripture to encourage, challenge, and teach us. He has given us the "sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." (Eph. 6:17) But to be able to handle a sword, you have to train and practice. Likewise, to handle God's word, we have to treasure it in our hearts, we have to train with it and practice that we may take "every thought captive to the obedience of Christ," and "be ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you." (1Corinthians 10:5 , 1 Peter 3:15)
God has graciously provided us with His very word, and it is foolish of us to not take advantage of so great a blessing.
Thanks again to Lady Ashlin!
To the special ladies out there: Cherish your single years for they are a blessing, just as marriage is. Your hearts are extremely precious to our heavenly Father and deserve to be guarded.
Books and resources of the 3Maidens: God's Word, So Much More, It's (Not That) Complicated, visionarydaughters.com, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Boy Meets Girl, And The Bride Wore White, setapartgirl.com, and Preparing to be His Helpmeet.
"Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable – if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise – dwell on these things."
(Philippians 4:8, HCSB)
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